OK I'm down to the single digits and I'm trying hard to keep up a positive attitude. The reality of the situation is kicking in. For some reason this week I am now perseverating on the actual surgery: will she take out my intestines? Will she take out my bladder? What will it look like in there...cutting through my fat and then into my abdominal connective tissue. Ugh. My organs are nice and cozy inside of me and they have been for my entire life. Will they get pissed off if they are moved around? Will I need a transfusion? Complications? What will I feel like afterward- missing an organ...? Will I miss it-- hmmmm. Not really! But, the extra space that will be created is strange to think about.
Yeah, so that's where my thought process is- kind of intense, but very realistic. I guess it's just another coping mechanism and another part of my process.
Pre-op is Wednesday, I'll get a physical and they'll take blood and check out my pre-surgery status. It's also where lot of my pre-surgery questions will be answered (I have a whole list of those!). I hope that goes over without a hitch.
And again, I hope I can do this and do it well.
2 comments:
You can do it...and you're going to totally kick butt while you're at it! Maybe you can write a book? hmmmm...
Thanks for the props! It feels daunting and very surreal. Fear of the unknown is like the "boogie man"...your mind can make it huge or it can defeat it. I'm trying for the defeat scenario but some days are tougher than others. Fo shiz.
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