30 Days

OK, so I have hit 30 days and it's amazing how much better I feel each day. Just when I think I am feeling as good as can be I wake up the next day and feel even better. It's awesome.

So, yesterday I actually watched a daVinci hysterectomy on youtube!! Seriously, it's worth checking out. I was blown away and really pretty glad I watched it after the surgery rather than before ;-) I also sat in awe of how the robot works...I can't even explain it...I will try and link to my favorite videos in my next post just so that anyone interested can check it out.

Having hit the 30 day mark I have also experienced my first month without a period in about 30 years. I don't think guys can understand the scope of that statement. For 30 years, every month...seven days of bleeding plus at least two days of horrible cramps...GONE! No more... Do I miss it? No way. In fact it feels magical and like I can do anything without being encumbered and tripped up by my cycle. I still can't believe it...I can't believe that it won't happen ever again.

Since it started 30 ago I have been at it's mercy--- the first day I got it it was miserable, and every month after even worse...so...I feel free.

One thing I forgot to mention is that I got the pathology report from the surgeon the other day...and it was confirmed by him that I had endometriosis and adenomyosis as well as the fibroids. He also explained the surgery in more detail.

He explained that my fallopian tubes were huge and when I asked him why he explained that they are lined with mucus (ugh I hate that word) and that they periodically "drain" into either the uterus or the ovaries as the mucus flows like cars on a highway. Basically, I had such congestion that he thinks the ports for drainage to my ovaries and to my uterus were blocked; therefore allowing the tubes to fill up and get completely congested.

He also described the calcified fibroids as being hard as a rock in some places, but like grit or sand in other places. He also said that the calcified fibroids continue to grow, which blew me away. Crazy!!

Those are some of the nasty details!

I think about it and I am reminded of one of the things that the doctor said to me that really had an impact...he said "It was time for this to all come out". A simple sentence, I know- but it just makes me think about what was inside of me and how glad I am that it's all a thing of the past.

Next post I will try and link to the daVinci videos.

Post-Op Doctor's Visit

Well I am officially at the 4 week mark and I got back from my post-op check up a few hours ago.

The post-op exam went pretty well. The doctor is very happy with my healing thus far- he had nothing but good things to say.

I am on an exercise and lifting restriction...he doesn't want me to run or jump or anything yet because he said that internally I still need to heal a bit.

I got the go ahead for yoga, though, which made me happy! He also suggested swimming, so I am looking into that (actually Rob is looking into that because he'd LOVE it if we both swam for exercise!!).

The worst part of the visit was the removal of the stitches that were in my vaginal wall. They were supposed to dissolve on their own, but weren't anywhere near dissolving...so he removed them and....jeez I'll be damned if you didn't all hear me screaming!!

I'm not gonna lie: it hurt. I think I squeezed Rob's hand so hard that it blanched.

But, I toughed it out ;-) and took an Advil...and I feel fine right now.

As I was leaving, the doctor said "You're good to go on and have a nice life!" I gave him a hug and thanked him about a million times. I don't think he realizes how much he changed my health and my life.

He has enabled me to go forth and have a nice life...just like he said ;-)
...and that's exactly what I plan on doing!!

Driving

Well, I was able to drive yesterday! Very exciting....really nothing unexpected to report. I was a little nervous at first, but then it was just like "riding a bike"...once you know how to do it, you don't forget and it comes back to you quickly!

One of the things that I did notice is that I felt like I was moving very slowly as I walked around in the store that I went to. I felt like I was moving in slow motion! I still feel like I am guarding my stomach a little bit. I found myself being cautious when I was walking next to people- like they might bump into me or something.

I have no pain to speak of anymore, so it was a curious reaction and I am not sure why my body was reacting in such a way!

But the driving itself was a piece of cake and I am happy to be back on the road. That brings me up to 100% independence once again! That's a good feeling!

Day 20 Post-Op

And I am feeling pretty darn great.

The steri strips have come off of my incisions on my belly and they are looking pretty good. Three of them look perfect- like little lines; the other two (on my right side) look like they could use a little extra Vitamin E Oil...they look thicker and less perfect. No worries.

Despite being closed with steri strips, three of the incisions have a stitch that has shown itself: clear, looks like fishing line, positioned at the corner of the incision. I got up the guts to tug on one of them and it doesn't move. I've read that other women have had stitches appear as well, some say they were able to pick off the stitch eventually (Gak!).

I have a follow up doctor's visit on August 24th and I will just talk to the surgeon about it at that time.

I went out on Friday night for the first time since the surgery- I actually put on pants instead of sweats! My pants did feel a little less tight around the waist area, but not as dramatic of an improvement as I would have hoped for. I am chalking that up to swelly belly....which I had a huge case of by the time that evening out was over.

I've decided that I am going to get some support briefs for when I return to work-- jockey makes a pair of underwear that have a torso support-- I think that will be perfect to help control swelly belly during the work day.

I think I am going to try and drive today!! I'm nervous??? Don't know why! But I will report on how that goes.

Feeling Better!!

Well, after a few days of misery I am back on track and feeling great again. I am now doing sitz baths with Epsom salts and the infection seems to have taken a hike!!

So-- -the sitz bath thing is so tough; because you have to sit there for a half hour at least twice a day with your pelvis under water. Let's make a list of things that I can do while I'm sitting there:

1. Play around on the I-pod Touch
2. File my nails
3. Read
4. .......

I'm already out of ideas and I'm bored to tears sitting there like a rock half submerged in a terrarium. I am driving Rob crazy because after 10 minutes of sitzing I've had enough!

Send your creative ideas! ;-) Let's turn this blog interactive!

Just a Little Frustrated Today...

Howdy. So...I think I figured out the fever: it seems as though some of my stitches are potentially infected.

That said, I have officially come to the most frustrating part of this whole surgery process: the lack of after care provided by the surgeons office.

I didn't expect them to send me flowers...but I do expect them to answer my call when I call them, and I do expect them to return my call when they say they will....and I do expect to get to speak to a person and not a voice mail or answering service...You know- just the little things!

It seems as though that's where this process has fallen apart for me. I know I am a good patient- I am not a pain in the ass, I am polite and respectful, probably to a fault because in today's health care climate when you are nice you get cast aside. I am feeling like that right now and I am extremely frustrated.

Clearly I have something going on that has shown itself as a fever and possible infection, and definitely swelling...so when I call to find out if this is normal-if I'm OK since this was a major surgery- don't you think I should get to speak with a doctor, nurse or resident to help me figure out what is going on?

Jeez.

Setback

Bummer. I am bummed out to report that after doing so well, I seem to be suffering from a setback, hopefully a minor one!

I have developed a fever and some intense, stabbing lower intestinal pain when I have to void my bowel. The pain is excruciating and lasts until my bowel is cleared out. Not sure how the fever plays into the equation other than to say that it makes me feel hot and achy.

I have called the doctor and will post as soon as I know what the heck is going on.

I am really feeling bummed out because I was progressing so nicely and feeling so good. Ah well. I remain optimistic and hopeful that this is just a "normal" part of such a surgery and that it's nothing really bad.

Small Milestones Mean Big Progress!

Hey- I actually got myself out of bed this morning! Yippie!! I was finally able to rotate enough to push up onto my elbow, drop my feet to the side of the bed and hoist my body up. What a great feeling!

So, that said, I feel that I am just about back to 100% independence. The only thing I haven't done yet is drive. I'm thinking that I might try that next week.

This morning I actually even went out and fed the birds. It's so nice to look out and see the gold finches- they've helped my recovery, too.

How am I feeling overall? Well, my abs and torso are still a little sore. The muscle pain feeling has subsided a bit and now I have twinges of tightness that feel like your classic "stitch"...you know the feeling of eating a meal and then going running...you get that twinge of sharp muscle pain in your side? That's how it feels every so often. But it is totally and completely tolerable.

I have not taken any form of pain pill (Aleeve or Advil or Tylenol)for about 4 days now. I have continued with my vitamin C packets and my bromelain enzyme, two nights ago I started back on my Omega 3's.

I can't wait until I can really exert myself physically doing a work-out or breaking into a run...just to see how it feels with my new found energy stores and without the huge masses trampolining in my abdomen. I have to go and see the doctor before I get cleared for that sort of work-out! But that's how good I feel!!

I really feared that with an organ absent from my body my "chi" would feel different...from a Reiki/chakra standpoint I wondered if I would feel empty or like there was a great void inside of me at my belly chakra.

Interestingly enough I feel completely the opposite. I actually feel that the flow of everything inside of me is leagues better- I feel freedom and release. It's pretty awesome.

I am going to go and try to put up a load of laundry and get back into taking care of the house. Maybe I should milk this a little longer...hmmmm....hahahaha!!

One Week Post-Op

I hit the one week mark and I am feeling pretty darn great. It's amazing how our bodies heal.

So, How am I feeling at the one week mark? Well, I still have sore abs- I won't be doing crunches any time soon. It's a feeling I can't quite explain- I guess it feels sorta like I spent waaaaaay to much time at the gym since the soreness wraps around from my abs to my back. Getting up from sitting or from being in bed is still very difficult. I can manage the sit-to-stand on my own, but Rob is still helping me out of bed. Coughing, sneezing, yawning are still my enemy! I have avoided sneezing by pinching myself when I feel one coming on- it really works!

I had some issues with coughing up until very recently- I guess the breathing tube that I had during surgery irritated my throat, and I would get a tickle that would instantly make me cough. Coughing with hurting abs.....sucks!!

Posturally, I can't really tolerate much standing or sitting yet- I need to take breaks and get horizontal every couple of hours. Usually that turns into a nap, which I find that I am still needing during the day. The belly-band (hardcore abdominal binder) really helps a huge amount with my sitting and standing. Without it I think I would be in far worse shape- and I'd be lying in bed far more than I currently am.

Let's talk about swelly-belly. For some reason I thought I could escape it's wrath. HA! Basically, my belly is swollen from the surgery. So, I got rid of a few huge lumps and bumps that made me look pregnant and I traded them in for a belly that looks like a wad of pizza dough. The belly binder helps keep this at bay because it offers some compression to my abs.

My steri-strips are still intact; covering the five "holes" that are healing on my belly.

Believe it or not, I think that I am going to start doing some upper body exercise today- to help with my arm and back strength- no weights, just resistance bands and just a few reps.

Yesterday I spoke to a friend on the phone and she asked me how I was "psychologically", which I thought I would report on today: the short answer is that I feel great. The anxiety caused by the fibroids was tremendous and now that's gone and I know my body is healthier for it. How can I not feel wonderful about that? I feel exuberant, in fact.

As for the "no uterus" factor, honestly, that isn't even an issue for me. I guess I was fortunate in that I had worked through any and all uterus/childbearing/womanhood issues...and I am perfectly at peace with the emotional weight that each of those presents.

I don't want to belittle the emotional gravity of this surgery-because it is intense. Many women feel very depressed post-surgery and I can totally respect and understand that. In my particular situation, I can only say that that hasn't been the case for me.

Overall I feel that I am doing really well physically and mentally. The worst seems to be behind me and I am so appreciative that my body is as strong as it is and is healing as quickly and as well as it is!

Ahhhhhhh.

Took longer to get back than I thought! The fatigue factor is pretty high and so is the mental lethargy from the anesthesia. My brain is definitely not at it's peak performance-- it feels strange, kind of like my thoughts are under water and I have to spend time fishing for them, as opposed to them leaping out of the water as they usually do.

I feel very very very good today. Tomorrow is one week post-op and every day really is significantly better than the last. I got up today (Rob is still helping me up from the sleeping position since my abs aren't cooperating yet)and I actually got dressed for the first time; by dressed I mean I put on sweats with a waist band rather than the long tee shirt night gowns I've grown to love during this process.

I ate a great breakfast (the Recovery Breakfast, as Rob calls it: egg whites, vegetarian sausage patties, juice with a vitamin C packet added to it, and a piece of toast) and then felt motivated to go out and walk around my (very small) cul-de-sac two times!!

It felt great.

All of my postural muscles are still not cooperating, so I put my belly band on to give me some support and to help reduce my bad-ass case of the dreaded "swelly belly".

Post-op my stomach was flat as a newly paved road, but the onset of sewlly belly makes me look like something between Humpty Dumpty and the proverbial "beached whale". Ahhhh this too shall pass.

The most amazing thing that is starting to happen is that I am more and more able to realize how much pain and discomfort I was in with such huge fibroids inside of me. I had adjusted so well, I didn't recognize abnormal. I already feel tremendous relief on my left side, down by my hip. It got difficult to lift my leg without an annoying tugging feeling-- that's gone!

I had a numb spot on my left foot, that's gone! The large fibroid that I had protruding toward my back must have been putting pressure on some spinal nerves...and I am very happy that that is now gone.

Imagine having a cantaloupe pressing into your rectum and putting pressure on your pelvic floor muscles; and now imagine not having that anymore. Yeah-- the whole bathroom experience is completely different!!

All in all I am feeling better every day and I am looking forward to tomorrow because I know I'll feel even better than I do today.

Wow.

Wow....that was intense! But I did it! Today is the first day that I am feeling human again, so I thought I would write and catch up.

So the surgery happened at about 1:30pm on Tuesday the 28th. I got to the OR-prep room and was immediately stuck with an IV and put into a gown. I hung out like that with Rob by my side for about 15-20 minutes or so. Then the OR Nurse Anestetist came in and spoke to me, followed by the Anesthesialogist. The Nurse Anestetist came back in and gave me a shot of ver-sed (sp)and I got a wave of being lightheaded. Then I don't remember anything else!

Until i woke up very groggily in recovery, I remember the nurse pulling my oxygen out, and I remember my eyes feeling really heavy.

After that things are so sketchy and tough to recall, until I felt pain for the first time. From then on out I remember just about everything: 6 hours out of surgery being asked to stand up....!!!! Getting the catheter out...Having to urinate for the first time...ugh.

Here are the deets of my surgery: It was complicated! I was supposed to be in surgery for 3 hours and instead it took 6 (poor Rob!). I had several large fibroids and two of the largest ones-the size of canteloupes- had calcified....so two morcellator bits broke! As a result, they had two options; either to cut me abdominally or remove my cervix and go through my vagina (which is what they wound up doing). So I essentially "delivered" (docs words) a canteloupe sized fibroid in bits through my vag-opening.

Ouch.

Right now it is hard to type, so i will probably edit this later- I am still having some anesthesia effects and I still feel a little loopy.

Before I go I have to mention and give major props to Rob-- who has been incredible as a support and as a source of inspiration and great help through this whole ordeal. I'll be back for an edit- I have to hit the hay now-- soooo tired.